Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Funk and My Needles
This is usually not something I like to talk about but sometimes it's just better to get it off your chest. I am in a funk. Not just a fun funk... a depressive state in which nothing much matters. I have been gardening to try to focus on something but the real way to know there is something wrong is when I just can't think of knitting a thing at this moment. The attempt to pick up needles and knit a couple stitches is about all I can handle before I lose interest and put it back in it's place. Why I get like this, I have not a clue. It has happened on and off for years, just being another thing to try to work through. Deep down I so badly want to be normal and be knitting up a storm or having the energy to do all the things I would love to do at the moment. The problem is that so much more of me doesn't agree and just wants to sit and sulk. Now I shouldn't say I don't know exactly why I get like this because there are many things right now causing this problem, but mainly the fibromyalgia that has become a constant pain in my ass. But none of it is something that can be fixed easily, just things that I have to continue to endure. The fight is on to get through this and move on with life, and luckily I have a wonderful husband that is there with a hug whenever I need one. I know so many others in the world have to deal with depression just like I do, and some much worse than myself. It's not a fun thing to talk about but talking is the first step towards getting out of the funk and moving on with life.